If you like wearing kaftans, eating tofu or hugging trees, look away now. You see, the Bentley Brooklands chunters along at a multi-national-fuel-company-pleasing 14 miles per gallon on a good day.
Everything about the Brooklands is big and, by and large, beautiful. Its twin-turbo 6.75-litre V8 is the most potent V8 in current production, boasting not only 530bhp but also a whopping 774lb ft of pull.
The optional carbon ceramic brakes (add 14,000 to the bill, please, Jeeves) are the largest of any production car. Even the rear passenger compartment is, according to Bentley, the most spacious of any two-door coup's in history.
However, despite its monstrous 10ft wheelbase and 17ft overall length, it looks lithe and athletic graceful even and you can clearly detect the influence of the 1957 S-Series Continental in its styling.
Before you so much as turn the key or press the starter button, it's best to savour your surroundings for a moment. Swathes of beautifully hand-stitched leather, acres of wood and eye-catching stainless steel cover seemingly every surface.
And the conservationists out there shouldn't fret too much: only 550 of these behemoths are being built.